Apr 22
i lu you bairey look see i’m finally on but you probably won’t see oh well here i go getting off again dkifeononowebhgsl; okthanksbye.
Apr 22
i’m a bit confused presently. i know it’s normal to have no idea what i want or what i need or where i’m going or what i’m doing and why, but the lack of direction is driving me crazy all the same. anxiety is settling in for a long stay as my moods begin to change rapidly. staggering realizations constantly pummel my heart even as my brain becomes more and more clouded. lately, most people have only served to feed my growing sense of unease, and i can’t help but wonder; will it ever end? will i ever know peace or will i simply learn to hide or cover these feelings under layers of the indifference i will undoubtedly acquire throughout the coming years? my strength and confidence and hope, which were limited from the start, are rapidly deteriorating. i have always questioned things; it is my nature. but now the questions are taking on a sense of desparation and despair, and i don’t know why that is. i want so much….i can’t have it all. i’m beginning to question once again things i thought i had finally found the answer to. Disquiet is once again replacing the peace i deluded myself into thinking i had. a hopeless sorrow threatens to envelop me whenever i think: what if? why? these two seemingly simple questions fill my mind to the brim with negative thought, and my heart is fit to burst with the ache they produce. and yet maybe i’ll find the answer. really,that’s all i’m asking for. an answer to even one of my many painful questions would help to ease my mind a little. sadly, as far as i know, no one has found an answer to any of my questions. “It’s part of life,” they say. “You’ll find the answers at some point in your life. You just have to wait for the right time. You’ll know.” but i don’t know if i can deal with that. am i supposed to let these things eat away at my consciousness until the time comes - which will be years from now, if at all - ? how can i enjoy life? that’s all i want. to get the most out of my life, to enjoy it as much as possible. is that too much? i just don’t know where to start. i don’t know how. or when. or what. or why. maybe that’s normal, but it hurts all the same.
Apr 14
i’m not an artist. i cannot channel my sorrow into a poem or a painting or something of that nature. i can only drown it with solitude, for that is the only talent i possess.
Dec 18
going to a christmas party with kyle tonight
uhhhhhhhhh
not sure if this will be awkward or not so……yeah
Dec 18
asthelightsfade asked: CAITY
HI
IT IS ME
THOMAS
</AWKWARD>
</caps lock>
THOMAS
HI
IT’S YOU
<COMPLETELY NOT AWKWARD>
:D
Dec 13
